Mint tea again tonight.
It was my drink of choice to close out the nights about seven years ago during my undergrad. A group of us would meet on the 2nd floor of the guy’s dorm and drink tea after finishing our homework. (We were crazy nerds. Deal with it.) We would talk about life and I imagined we would stay like that in perpetuity.
Now I drink mint tea alone, miles and miles from that dorm room.
My mind can’t help but draw parallels between that time and this, similar but completely different, state of affairs. So much has changed since then. I still stay in touch with a few from that group, but have fallen out (of touch) with some of the others (as one does in life). Our minds make connections for our memories to hang on. Some habits become tradition to sew stories together into scrapbook scenes.
I suppose mint tea isn’t the only thing that connects that time and this. Tonight was a breaking point for me. On my knees crying out to the Most High because I don’t have the energy or mental capacity to accomplish this task set before me on my own. Learning Hebrew is difficult and I feel the weight of it, but mixed into those symbols is a subscript of where this journey leads. I’ve fallen on my face before and cried out in hopelessness. This is not that. I have a hope within me. But even with hope sometimes it’s still hard.